a fitted hoodie that i can leave unzipped to show off the shirt.
skinny jeans. duh.
i need to do some other stuff. but i cant think of anything else. i have a feeling people aren’t going to know that i’m not a hipster in real life. which is the worst. so i might actually just come up with something else entirely. hmm. i have to dress up cause we’re having a party at the house. oi vey.
“Tell me something, give me hope for the night. We don’t know how we feel. We’re just praying that we’re doing this right, though that’s not the way it seems. Summer’s gone, now winter’s on its way. I will miss the days we had.”—The Head and The Heart / Winter Song (via l0verunsdeep)
let it be known to all in the land. i am a hot mess of a human. i don’t know what i want. i’m deliriously happy one day and completely confused the next. when men talk about women that they don’t understand: there talking about this guy, right here.
but i’ve come to terms (well not completely, yet) with this fact. and ya know what? idgaf.
i’ve spent the majority of my life trying to figure myself out and explain myself and learn to love who i am. but i have no idea who the hell i am. and i don’t care anymore. i change all the time. every. freaking. day. and i’m okay with that. because im twenty two years old. and no im not in love. and yes i have a job, but i still live under someone else’s roof. and somedays i think i’m pretty and some days i really don’t. some times i love the people around me and sometimes i hate them. and sometimes i really want a boyfriend and some days i couldn’t care less. and along with that there are days when i wonder if i’ve blown any chance at falling in love because i have days where i want it so badly. and everyone knows if you want something bad enough, it’ll never happen. also there are these days where i’m really hyper critical of myself, and there are days when im hyper critical of other people, and then, there are days when nothing else matters but what i want to have for every meal of that day. which is cool too. oh! and sometimes, at least once a week, i think im dying of some terrible form of cancer that doctors will never find in time because it’s a new type (but those are just the days when i need some attention).
bad things i know about about myself: i tend to let my anxiety get the better of me, i have a bad mouth, i sometimes am a bit of a prude. oh and im a cynic.
good things i do know about myself: i’m funny (sometimes), i’m kind (or at least i try to be most of the time), i always think the best of people before the worst (to a fault), i love shitty movies, and i consistently think about how to stop biting my nails. i have the ability to surround myself with good people, i dream a lot, and i think that one day my imagination might get me in trouble.
i have no idea who i am yet. i have no idea why i do the things i do. sometimes i get scared. and sometimes i get happy. and sometimes i just don’t really feel much of anything at all. but seriously? who the fuck cares? because i sure as hell don’t. i’m here. i’m alive. and i’m figuring myself out. one weird day at a time.
Chances are, you’re not going to be alone forever.
Start spending more time with you. Laugh at your own jokes. Luxuriate in solitary silence. Walk. Read. Pamper yourself. Be as filthy and disgusting as you please. Learn the comfort of your own embrace. It’s a cliché but it’s true—you will love better once you’ve fallen in love with you. Sleep sprawled on the bed. Snore. When you wake up make eggs and bacon and eat them in bed on your own. Find things—big and small—that you love doing and do them everyday.
Focus on your job. Find a hobby. Do whatever the hell you want. Because when that day comes—the secret day you hold onto in the hidden recesses of your guts—you will have to compromise. You will have to think of someone else whenever you make a decision. You will have to share your bacon, and maybe they wont like it crispy besides, and you’ll have to adapt. You will have to sleep wedged between someone’s limbs. It wont be better and it wont be worse; it will be different, and you’ll have to learn to love it too.
“When I like people immensely I never tell their names to anyone. It is like surrendering a part of them. I have grown to love secrecy. It seems to be the one thing that can make modern life mysterious or marvelous to us. The commonest thing is delightful if one only hides it. When I leave town now I never tell my people where I am going. If I did, I would lose all my pleasure. It is a silly habit, I daresay, but somehow it seems to bring a great deal of romance into one’s life.”—~ Oscar Wilde (via moufles)
stripes. and glasses with no frames. and ill braid my hair back in a bun. and i just bought toms so i can use those. and red lipstick. and tattoos on my forearms. and i’ll carry around a camera. and take hipstamatic pictures (get it? hipsta?). and i’ll bite some of the polish of my nails. and…
“I love this part. This is the part where your heart races a bit, your stomach feels like it’s free floating, and your face has a slight smile on it that can’t be wiped off. This is the part where things are about to get really good, and you know they’re about to get really good, and sometimes that’s more satisfying than when you get whatever it is you’re waiting for.”—~ Scarlett Schmaus (via conflictingheart)
“See, I’m not the one to be taken advantage of and if you really think about it, I got nothin’ but love. Now if your heart isn’t in it, please let me know. There’s no need to waste time- if it’s no, then I’ll go.”—Phife (from A Tribe Called Quest) (via 36974)